A Brief Reflection.
A Brief Reflection.
I've only added about half of my wardrobe to this site. With the clothes I've uploaded, I could wear a different outfit every day for the next 40 years and never repeat a look. Each outfit isn't right for each situation, I wouldn't wear my metallic mesh tank top with cut-off jeans and my leopard jacket to class, but there is a hypothetical time and place for all of them.
What I'm most proud of when it comes to my wardrobe is that nearly every article goes together. I have about 5 statement pieces that only coordinate with each other, but those five pieces aside, I can close my eyes in each section of my closet, pick something out, and end up with an outfit that works.
I would estimate that with my current closet situation, I could wear a different outfit every day for at least the next 75 years. But why do I still want more clothes? And why do I care so much about what I wear?
This website was made to display my "body of work." I do a lot of different things. I've played the violin for the past 19 years. I study Kabbalah, write metaphorical interpretations and unitive statements, and meditate. I've read books about theology, British orphans with hypnotic powers, and historical royal nonfiction. I've written essays for school on colonialism, equity, and the efficacy of U.S. foreign policy. I do conservation work on my family's land and take pictures of the flowers and plants I find there.
But what I like to do most is get dressed.
When I was 14, I had an obsession with Polo Ralph Lauren sneakers. I already had a black pair and a blue pair, but I wanted an all-leather brown pair that would go perfectly with my v-neck American Eagle sweaters. My parents said that if I wanted more shoes, I would have to get a job and buy them myself, so I did.
It's been about a decade since then, and there have been less than five months in that timeframe where I didn't have a job. My closet didn't grow overnight. I purchased many stupid clothes that I never wore and didn't need. But I've also found clothes that fit me like a glove, make me feel like myself, tell a story, send a message, keep people away, and draw people in, that I couldn't live without.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had saved and invested the money I've spent on clothes, but then I remember that I did invest that money, in myself.
I have a theory: Best Dressed always wins. When I have the right outfit on, I can give any presentation, walk into any room, talk to anyone, and do anything I set my mind to. Sometimes being the "Best Dressed" is objective, like at Business School Orientation, where everyone was told to dress "business casual or one step up." Other times, like in the classroom, it's completely subjective. To someone else, a black t-shirt under a dark grey CK thermal with the sleeves sticking out the cuffs of a blue pinstriped snap-closure work jacket, light grey jeans, black leather loafers, and a neck full of silver chains might be the dumbest thing they've ever seen. To me, it's a modern interpretation of Tudor-era fashion meets blue-collar work culture meets prep, subverting the same sumptuary laws that Henry VIII and Elizabeth I exploited to display and maintain their status and power while staying true to my years spent working in a factory reckoned with my bourgeois academic background.
Today, I'm much more calculated regarding the clothes I wear and buy. Fran Leibovitz had the same jacket for 25 years. When I buy something, I ask myself if I can and will wear it in 25 years. When I get dressed, I ask myself what I'll think about that outfit in five, ten, and twenty-five years. I might not wear it when I'm 50, but if I stand by it as a look and feel like it is an appropriate representation of myself, I can't ask for much more.
Today, I only buy from Uniqlo, Calvin Klein, and L.L.Bean when I shop for new clothes. Consolidating the brands I purchase from has drastically reduced my clothing consumption and waste and allowed me to develop my style cohesively. I know how their clothes will fit me, what materials they use, and how their colors will look and go together.
Fashion is one of the worst things to happen to the planet. Mass-produced "fast fashion" chokes our environment both when it is made and after it's discarded. Designer brands and fashion houses parade vapidity and uplift unattainable beauty standards while ignoring and reinforcing economic inequities within society, not to mention exploiting their workers, other designers, and cultures. Fashion breeds mental illness and self-doubt as we base our worth on how we look and compare ourselves to others.
Style combats fashion. Fashion is the shirt. Style is how you wear it and what you do with it. In my opinion, the concept of "style" is one of the best things to happen to the planet. The fact that I can communicate who I am and what I'm about to anyone that sees me without making eye contact or opening my mouth is something I come back to time and time again.
It is scarce that I buy brand-new clothes for full price. When I do, those pieces are my actual investments.
My very best clothes are like tractors. I have this black Calvin Klein recycled cashmere turtleneck sweater that I've worn twice for 4 hours total. International Harvester only made the Farmall M tractor from 1939 to 1953. My dad had a Farmall M until I was in high school, and it ran like it just came off the assembly line. When I wear my black Calvin Klein recycled cashmere turtleneck sweater, it's like I'm plowing the field. As soon as the job is done, I take the sweater off, fold it, put it in a dust bag, put that dust bag in the Calvin Klein box the sweater came in, and put that box under my bed. When you take care of your tools, they take care of you.
I can think of about 25 pieces that I own that I want to have for the rest of my life; sweaters, jackets, bags, and shirts that are symbolic of me. There are some jeans I'd like to take along for the ride, but we'll see how long they fit.
I'll always want more clothes because I'll always have something more to say. My dream is to have a uniform like Steve Jobs someday, the quintessential outfit made for me that I can wear every day. Once I find that perfect outfit, I'll stop thinking about my clothes. But for now, my clothes have their own language.
Whether I'm going to work in my favorite "The Flash" by Basquiat x Uniqlo t-shirt that disrupts the space-time continuum to ensure I'm always on time when I wear it under my navy blue Uniqlo Kando suit with my black leather Silver Street London monk strap wing tipped drivers that remind me of my Grandpa or running to Starbucks in my blue Aprilaire shirt under a Wisconsin Badgers crewneck with some shorts I bought for a class project when I needed their hanger to take pictures of pants, gum-soled white Nike Air Force 1-lows and my saddle brown L.L.Bean field jacket that was taken straight from the pages of the Preppy Handbook, each outfit tells a story of what I am, where I come from, and where I am going.
- Nicholas Santas